1. This rock is the reincarnation of a particularly vile paedophile.
2. Scientists host serious doubts if Winston Churchill ever existed. Therefore a simulated, microscopic version of World War II will be carried out on these premises to study what the implications of his disappearance are. Please be aware of materialization of microscopic Hitlers, Stalins and other miniature dictators. (No microscopic Jews will come to harm during this experiment).
3. The triangle above is a portal to a merrier parallel reality. Put your index finger inside to be teleported.
4. String theorists have reason to believe that Italy and Ethiopia won World War II. This means that the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki served no practical purpose. Plank length explosions in the 11th dimension will be carried out in this area to try and revert the effects of these two bombs. Be careful as spontaneous resurrection of Japanese victims and their offspring might occur.
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Angrep genast, ursinnig full av liv.
Ligger nu vid väggen, stilla med en
blodpärla i näbben./Dikt av Björn von Rosen/En sång till min trädgård.